Sam (into a tape recorder): Oh I love you machine, you’re the best machine in the world. One side you record, and the other side you sing.
Upon a big parental fight:
Liz: Wow, they’re really yelling. Do you think they’ll get divorced?
Sam: I don’t know but I hope they don’t become unmarried.
One Thanksgiving at Aunt Dorothy’s in Valley Stream, New York…
Sam (sobbing to adults): Liz and Danny and Teddy are all jumping on Aunt Dorothy’s bed and they won’t let me because they say I’m going to tell…. Like I’m really going to tell!
Early 80's, to his older sister:
Sam: I am SO.... MUCH.... MORE..... MATURE.... than YOU....
With a deflated balloon in his hand and a dazed look on his face:
Sam: I'm on Venus!
The weekend of his college graduation, again with a dazed look on his face:
Upon coming home from college and discovering butter instead of margarine in the fridge:
Sam: I can't believe it's not I Can't Believe it's not Butter!
On a Bicycle trip after getting wet in the rain:
Sam: We'll never recover!
After using the word "kafkaesque" and then being reminded he'd never read any Kafka
Sam: Yeah, but I can still throw around "kafkaesque" with the best of them.
To my little brother Shmegeggie, Shmendrik, Sammy or as he used to spell it: MAS. I've known you for as long as I can remember, and your presence has permeated so far into my brain that it's hard to take a step back and try to think what you're like or how I even feel about you. I just know that sometimes when Noah looks particularly like you I'm really tempted to seize him in a fit of exultant love, melancholy for times past, and a latent desire to cause some bodily injury via squashing.